Select Page
in the bevels of time, i remain

In this post:

  • Things about my life, dreams, and my older brother that died in 2016.

“In the bevels of time, I remain. Like a dying star we can still see because it takes billions of years for the light to finish traveling to us.”

I’ve had extremely wild and often lucid dreams for many years. I recently had an extremely lucid dream with my older brother, Adam, in it where he shared the quote above with me. I wrote it down shortly after waking up.

I liked that line, “In the bevels of time.” I actually had to look up whether that made any sense or not. Bevel meaning: a slope from the horizontal or vertical in carpentry and stonework; a sloping surface or edge.

What made the dream even more wild is he metamorphosed into Robin Williams after saying it — who then just nodded confirmation to me with a slight smile.

When I was a child, I always had a reoccurring dream where I’d sleep walk, but I was actively moving in the dream. Like as if I had virtual reality goggles on.

The dream always began the same way where I’d look closely at my hand as it began to slowly grow. Then it’d get to the point where it became too heavy forcing me to save myself by rolling out of bed and free falling forever until the loop exhausted itself and I ended up on the floor. Once I landed I’d attempt to go left in the hallway – to get help from my parents – only to see the giant boulder from Indiana Jones come out of my older brother’s room and chase me down the steps and onto the main floor.

At the last minute, I’d dive into the hallway bathroom, hop up on the sink, and stare at myself progressively age in the mirror. I was only 7 years old at the time and I witnessed myself become a teenager, a man, grow a beard, and eventually turn into an old man.

I just thought I’d share this crazy dream I had at 34 versus one I had all the time when I was 7.